What is it about so many politicians that they just can't keep their pants zipped?
After all the hullabaloo over South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's unexplained disappearance during Father's Day, there he was holding a press conference Wednesday to apologize to everyone for what turned out to be a secretive trip to Argentina to have an affair.
How bizarre - and disappointing - can you get? It's as if "John and Kate Plus Eight" dragged their dirty laundry to C-SPAN.
And maybe it's just me, but once, just once, here's what I want from one of these groveling-for-mercy press conferences.
I'd like to see the offending politician start out by saying all the usual obligatory stuff: "I apologize to my family. I apologize to my party. I apologize to my supporters. I'm so sorry. Boo hoo hoo, blah blah blah." You know how it goes.
But then, with a flourish, he should whip out an 8-by-10 glossy of the woman with whom he had the affair and say, "But just look at her! Can you blame me? Man, these Argentinian chicks are smokin' hot!"
No, he wouldn't win any new supporters or get any of his political critics off his back. But at least we'd have a better idea of why an otherwise very intelligent man did something so monumentally stupid.
Speaking of stupid, just how tiresome and deluded can the supporters of ex-state Sen. Charles Walker get?
Barely a week goes by without yet another repetition of the ludicrous claim that Walker, in federal prison for his conviction in nearly 12 dozen felonies, is locked up only because of prosecutorial or judicial misconduct.
The drumbeats continued this past week with a windy press release about a "major forum" (what; you didn't hear about it? I guess it really wasn't so "major," then) on the topic held Friday in Washington, D.C. In that release, Walker's son is quoted as saying, "the biggest scandal in American politics is prosecution misconduct against Democrats."
Seriously? That's the "biggest scandal in American politics"? I bet Mark Sanford would love to hear that.
Besides: Just try playing that tune around here, where in a three-year span federal prosecutors locked up one Democrat - Walker - while throwing three Republicans in the pokey: Robin Williams, Linda Schrenko and Merle Temple.
A bigger difference between these four ex-politician felons? Williams, Schrenko and Temple are taking their medicine without all the public bellyaching from their families and other political hangers-on. It's too bad Walker's folks won't do the same.
Congress on the go
Columbia County residents have been somewhat spoiled by having their own congressional office since U.S. Rep. Paul Broun established his stake in Evans in 2007.
But not all 20 counties in the district have such easy access. So Broun will soon hold another round of what he calls "Congress on the Square," bringing mobile congressional office services to counties in the district.
The closest the roving office will come to our area is the Lincoln County Chamber of Commerce, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. July 14.
Columbia County's office, however is open daily at 4246 Washington Road, Suite 6, in Evans, behind the Retreat Spa and Salon (across from Street and Trail Motorsports). You can call them at (706) 447-3857.
Hooray for Evans
The upcoming issue of Family Circle magazine has named Evans as one of the 10 best places in the United States for families.
This is a real honor for Columbia County. It also should be a shot in the arm to our local real estate folks, who can finally see light at the end of the tunnel from the economic downturn.
Barry L. Paschal is publisher of The Columbia County News-Times. E-mail barry.paschal@newstimes online.com.
The Columbia County News-Times ©2013. All Rights Reserved.