Stop honking - I'm trying to be nice

Enough of the new year has passed that by now most people have given up on their resolutions. Personally, I gave up on them a few years back. You know the old standards: Lose weight, stick to the budget, be kinder to your fellow man.

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Why is that last one so hard for other people to keep? Not me. I'm a nice person. I've never really made that resolution because it didn't apply to me. Tell me what you need, and I'll do everything in my power to make it happen.

Is it so hard to ask for the same in return? I know I'm not the best driver in the world. I know this because I'm reminded of it every time somebody else is in the car with me. Just because I had three wrecks within six months a few years back is no reason for my insurance to double.

Still, I was nice. I didn't complain, although these mishaps could have happened to anyone. First of all, I scraped one of the pillars standing in the middle of the theatre parking lot. They should put warning signs on those things. You know, like "items are closer than they may seem."

The pillar was about six inches in diameter until three feet from the bottom; then it goes to at least 20. Give me a break. I drive an SUV; it doesn't send off bells and whistles. I know I've hit something when I hear an extremely loud scraping noise.

Then I hit my house. That could happen to anybody; the house is big and so is my car. Thinking my car would win was a big mistake. Still, I was nice.

Then, when I rear-ended a poor child's car and totaled it, I was nice. And then I was panicky when I heard the young man call his mother.

Then the police came. Then the mother and grandmother came. They rushed over to me and hugged me, all the time saying they were so grateful I wasn't hurt.

The deputy said he wouldn't write me a ticket, which is when the floodgates opened. "Why is everybody being so nice to me when I totaled this kid's car?" It was a scream that I didn't even know came from my mouth until I noticed no one else was crying.

All of this is written directly to the person in the SUV bigger than mine with tinted windows who laid on his horn behind me because, apparently, I wasn't going fast enough for him. Mister, if I ever see you again, trust me, I will either get right on your tail and return the favor or get in front and go 15 mph just to get your goat.

People, stop honking your horns at me! I'm old! I'm doing the best I can!

Pat Fickle is a Martinez resident.