You're telling me this gossip why?

Do you ever wonder why some people come up to you in a crowded place and whisper little tidbits in your ear so no one else can hear? It could be at the mall, a tennis match, a party or anywhere surrounded by the general public.

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Perhaps they know that you can't react appropriately because of others in hearing range. Maybe they simply want to make it look as though the two of you have a secret or gossip that no one else in the room knows about.

Whatever the reason, I wish they would stop doing it to me. I don't want other people thinking I'm confiding in this person alone. I don't want to take the chance of hurting somebody's feelings by making it appear we're talking about them.

I have become more sensitive over the past few months. It amazes me that I have so many friends and neighbors who care so deeply, and making anybody in that category believe me capable of turning against them would hurt me more than anything.

Remember high school? Maybe you were one of the "most popular group" and didn't have problems with classmates laughing behind your back.

I was lucky in that respect. Although not the most popular girl in school, I at least had enough friends to know they always had my back. Whether it was about my weight, my clothes, or whatever the latest gossip was, I was never deeply hurt or even scarred by their gossip. I do, however, know several people who were.

Do you realize how many adults are walking around still carrying resentment and shame for something that happened years ago? Why do you think there's so much violence in our schools? Why do you think there's so much crime in our society?

OK, I might be carrying this a bit too far. I have no degree in psychology, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. This is just the way I perceive our society in this day and age. Prejudiced parents can turn their children into prejudiced adults. I don't think I need a doctorate to know that.

Our kids need proper guidance. They need to know that, no matter what, you love them with all your heart. They need to know that you will always put them first in your lives.

Children can be cruel and these children turn into cruel adults unless we turn them around. I am no angel and, like most of you reading, have talked about a schoolmate or a friend behind their backs. Hopefully, that didn't happen very often. Hopefully, these people will forgive me. Hopefully, it didn't have any lasting effects.

I could not live with myself right now, knowing there's somebody out there that remembers me as a gossip who hurt them deeply. I truly do not believe that has happened and, if it has, please forgive me.

Please do your part to turn this world around. If we don't work together as one, lives will be ruined forever.

Pat Fickle is a Martinez resident.