Holiday treats have a short shelf life

How far ahead of time do you buy your Halloween candy? One month, two months? I am unable to do that. It doesn't seem to matter where I hide the stuff, little Munchkins can always find it. Guess I should say Big Munchkins, too.

Every one in my family has an uncanny sense of smell. Not for dirty clothes, not for stinky pets and, especially, not for moldy food in the fridge. All I hear about that last one is, "Don't throw that away! It's only been there for a few weeks!"

Oh, no, they can't smell what's truly rancid and needs fixing. All they can smell is chocolate. Every time I purchase candy for Halloween a month or so ahead of time, it's gone by Oct. 31. I remember coming home early once and seeing two grown men stuffing their mouths with a bag of Butterfingers, trying to get them all chewed before I came through the door.

Maybe I should start hiding stuff in the washing machine. I know they wouldn't look there. They probably don't even know how to lift the lid.

On the other hand, I'd be the one to forget it's in there and throw laundry on top of the bags. Can you even imagine?

In the past, there have been a couple of times the sweets were not discovered. Even by me. I forgot where I put them. Sad, isn't it? I tried giving the kids frozen peas, one at a time, but that didn't go over at all.

No matter what happens to the candy this year, everything will be cool. I'm going to get rolls of quarters and keep them in my purse. That's one place they never look. I told my family a long time ago that I put a mouse trap inside it. Don't know why that worked, but it did. Maybe it's because they know better than to invade my personal territory.

Oh, shoot, now I've done it. They know where the money is. That's OK, I can buy a lock, as if I'd remember the combination.

(Pat Fickle is a Martinez resident.)