Here are a few gifts Santa forgot to bring

Posted: Sunday, December 26, 2004

Santa sure was generous for Christmas. Retailers, in spite of deep discounts needed to reach their needed sales figures, did pretty well as the sleigh was filled.

We couldn't help but notice, however, that in spite of the load Santa's reindeer lugged along, the sleigh was a few packages short. Here, then, are some things Santa should have left under area trees:

Though it would be a tough fit, Santa could have wrapped up the Doctors Hospital field in Evans for the Columbia County commissioners.

The 20-acre field didn't have a ribbon on it, so commissioners will have to go ahead with the estimated $4 million purchase of the property. Maybe next year we can ask Santa for some "Do Not Disturb" signs to post on the open field to remind commissioners that the site's beauty is that it is an entirely undeveloped oasis in the midst of an urban-sprawl desert -- and that it should mostly stay that way.

We've hunted around the county, but haven't found that Santa left a new, privately funded home for the Soudy Golabchi collection of mounted trophy animals.

We're pretty sure Santa didn't include this in his sleigh because the reindeer objected. But he surely knows Golabchi's offer to donate the valuable collection would be the gift that keeps on taking; upkeep of a facility designed to preserve and showcase the massive collection of taxidermy would be tremendously expensive.

There's no confirmation, either, on the rumor that members of the committee seeking a home for the collection got their own gift from Santa: membership in People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Dropping down millions of chimneys in one night is an amazing feat, so perhaps Santa could have left a little of that speed with Reeves Construction, the company working on the Furys Ferry Road expansion.

The project is far behind schedule, though the portion between Baston Road and Riverwatch Parkway is just about complete. At least we'll get some traffic relief now that Stevens Creek Road reopened on schedule.

Santa didn't seem to leave a sidewalk or bike path for Mullikin Road.

The school system has built a new elementary school on a winding two-lane road just blocks away from Riverside Middle School, in an area packed with subdivisions and new homes.

Young students will be walking or biking to the new school when it opens, and without a bike path or sidewalk Santa tragically may have fewer children to bring toys to next year.

While we're at it, it would have been nice if Santa had brought a snappy new name for the new elementary school, too -- something with some geographic or historical heft to it, like Oakey Grove Elementary in recognition of the one-room school that once stood around the corner.

No stockings were filled with promises of a successful defense in federal court of the county's smoking ban.

We're pretty sure Santa, the stem of his pipe firmly clenched in his teeth, won't touch this controversy.

Santa also didn't leave behind the actual money to build the county's long-awaited satellite campus of Augusta Technical College.

But we do understand our local legislative delegation will soon make a personal plea to Santa, and afterward may be able to get the state funding to finally get the project started.

Santa, in this case, looks an awful lot like Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue. Come to think of it, we've never seen the two of them together, have we?



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