Aging gracefully, with chemistry

One can only attempt to slow down the signs of aging by using wrinkle cream, hair color and whatever else comes on the market guaranteeing to make our faces look younger. Some of this stuff might actually work. Who knows. The bottom line is; you can attempt to make your face look 30 while your insides are still 40-something.

Now mind you, Im not talking about myself. Oh, heavens no! I passed that 40 mark a couple of decades ago. In fact, Im so far past it my only hope would be to find a genie in a bottle and, even then, Id have to have full face makeup on to be sure he didnt run back to the bottle and jump in.

There are three types of makeup. The first is for doing quick little errands like running to the store and picking up a couple of things for dinner. This requires pressed powder in a compact and a quick swipe over the majority of your face.

The second stage is a half-face makeup, which is good for almost all everyday events. Going to the mall, going to the doctor, going to the dentist. Let me emphasize that it is absolutely essential to at least have a half-face on when sitting in the dentists chair. You do not want this man or woman frightened while hes probing around in your mouth.

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Half-face makeup does not mean you make up only the bottom or only the top part. It simply means you use half the amount of normal makeup. Slather on the heavy base stuff and brush on the mascara. Thatll do.

Now we come to full face. This is an act you have to plan for at least two hours in advance. The first and most important item for this operation is the concealer. One can never have too many concealers whether they come in liquid, stick or goo. After spreading wrinkle cream on the face, you use the concealer to cover up all weird spots and discolorations. For some of us, this may take quite a while.

Thus the need to start early. Then you can deal with base makeup, all the eye stuff, the rouge, the powder and whatever else makes you happy.

Do not, I repeat, do not let anyone hurry you through this procedure! Being late is OK. Obviously, you are going somewhere very important or you wouldnt be putting yourself through this torture. If you family starts banging on the door, lock it firmly and threaten to fix your famous split pea soup for breakfast if they dont leave you alone. Well, it works for me. You may have to use your own recipe.

You know you look good when you emerge from the inner sanctum or your own private little makeup dungeon. Carry a clipboard with pen and paper for grading compliments. Every child gets a mark from one to 10. They should know this from the beginning of your ordeal. He who exclaims the most will be rewarded. He who says little or nothing at all will be punished. As far as the husband, he better know what to say by now.

Good luck, ladies!

(Pat Fickle is a Martinez resident.)