Time for summer break

I lean and loaf at my ease, observing a spear of summer grass.

- Walt Whitman

As the curtain rises on George Gershwins opera, Porgy and Bess, the lead soprano sings, Summertime, and the livin is easy, and I sigh.

The war in Iraq really isnt over, the economy really hasnt recovered, and presidential candidates are already flocking to Iowa and South Carolina, even though the next election is still 17 months away.

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But schools out, the temperature is beginning to rise and my energy is low, and why did I promise that all those things I was supposed to do last winter would get done during the summer months when the livin is - you know - easy?

So, at least for today, rather than discuss the latest political uproar or form an opinion about any earth-shattering thing, were going to laugh a little, learn a little trivia, and otherwise lighten up with quips and quotes accumulated from here and there, and from the ridiculous to the not-so-sublime. Enjoy.

If people concentrated on the really important things of life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles.

Two hours after the chaplain at the penitentiary gave a sermon on the subject, "Go ye forth into all the world," two inmates escaped.

Everybody should be paid what hes worth, no matter how big a cut he has to take.

If you want the last word, apologize.

The No. 1 rule of the road: Drive as if you owned the other car.

The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. Youre always being asked to do things you arent decrepit enough to turn down.

Nothing annoys us more than to have friends drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking like it always does.

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, its now possible to travel across the country without seeing anything.

The No. 2 rule of the road: Drive in such a manner that your license expires before you do.

Concerned that a recently widowed friend had been left in dire straits, a couple stopped by to offer their help. Imagine their surprise when the woman proudly flashed her new, 2-carat diamond ring. This is a gift from my dear, departed husband, she swooned. The sweet thing left me $15,000 and told me to spend $5,000 on the funeral and $10,000 on a stone.

What do you get when you cross a galaxy with a toad? Star warts.

Few of us get dizzy doing too many good turns.

When it comes to giving, some people will stop at nothing.

The No. 3 rule of the road: You may be on the right track, but youll get run over if you just stand there.

A great many open minds should be closed for repairs.

If you eat fruits and vegetables for 85 years, you wont die young.

Middle age is the period when your children leave you one by one, and return two by two.

If we all sang on the same note, there would be no harmony.

No matter where you go or what summer-break thing you do, dont neglect to travel to Fort Discovery in downtown Augusta to see the fabulous Return of the Dinosaurs exhibit.

Pre-school children may need convincing that the roaring creatures are only make-believe, but even the tiny ones will gasp in delight at the baby dinos emerging from their over-sized eggs, and the pair of saber-tooth tiger cubs frolicking near their very toothy mother.

Whatever ridiculous or sublime thing you do this summer may you find time to singest of summer in full-throated ease (John Keats).

(Barbara Seaborn is a local free-lance writer. E-mail comments to seabara@aol.com.)