I would like to challenge everyone to a contest. Every house has a “messy” room, but I dare anybody to top mine. I not only have one trash room, I have two. Isn’t that exciting?
Before I answer my door, I make sure there aren’t any TV cameras from the Hoarders show. They could probably make a good 30-minute telecast on my holiday decorations. Talk about embarrassing your family! My grandson would probably try to get me professional help, and my granddaughter would deny that she’s related to me.
Before Halloween, I am always determined to put every decoration up around the middle of September and take them down Nov.1. I am also determined to put them all back in their little boxes or wherever they need to be stored until next year. Then comes Thanksgiving, and all those decorations need to go up and be taken down the Friday after.
Yes, I said the Friday after Thanksgiving. No, I will not go shopping on that day. You couldn’t pay me enough money to get in those crowds. To be truthful, I would be a little afraid for my life.
Then, of course, comes Christmas. Ah, what a glorious time for decorations! Now I have to put all the Thanksgiving junk up and start on the tree, my Santa collection, all the wreaths and, especially, all the greenery that needs to be threaded through those Santas and various other little Christmas figurines.
I admit that I do love my house around the holidays, but then, every single year, the new year shows up.
What a way to spoil everything you’ve worked on for the past three or four months.
Remember how I said I would take the Halloween stuff down and put them all in their little boxes? Ha! I’m sitting in the middle of one of my trash rooms looking at a witch trying to put a spell on one of my favorite Santas.
I always start with Christmas and work my way back. That way, I usually don’t have to put the Halloween stuff up, because it could very well be September before it’s all done.
Let’s get back to the contest. What, exactly, does one consider a trashy room? Well, I believe that such a room is one nobody lives in, yet it is the perfect place to throw that important document or item that you’ll be needing soon. Yes, that’s correct. Just toss that title to your car, deed to your house, insurance papers and warranty papers on all your electronics. That way, you’ll know exactly where something is when you need it.
Just try and wade through all your junk that you have been throwing in that room for the past 10 years. Do you really think you’re going to find what you’re looking for?
If you truly think your trashy room can beat mine, let me know. I’ll send you a picture of mine and crush your hopes at winning the trophy.
(Pat Fickle is a Martinez resident.)