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The milk got drunk again last night

Posted: April 25, 2015 - 11:20pm  |  Updated: April 26, 2015 - 12:09am

Raising teens isn't easy. The other morning, my husband stood shaking his head while gazing into the refrigerator. ""Our milk gets drunk every night,"" he complained.

We don’t talk to other people about our teenagers or the shenanigans of our dairy products.

Ninety percent of people don’t care, and the other 10 percent are glad we have them. Thus, I will speak to you about someone else’s son, Jr. Peter Fuller.

As if four teenagers driving my dairy products to demise and filling my head with tall tales and partial truths about what everybody does and how nobody’s mama cares is not enough, young Fuller, with his poor sentence structure, bad math and foul punctuation, has come creeping around my inbox.

Fuller, in the script of one lacking full frontal lobe development, composes his appeal to what he judges to be an impressionable parent of slow wit:

“Compliment of the season my dearest. I am Jr. Peter Fuller, am just 19 years old, the only Son of late General Fuller Peter Martins, My father was a highly reputable General during his time who operated in the capital of Afghanistan Kabul, during his days, before he was poisoned to death by his jealousy one and friends while on a family meeting. It is sad to say that my father passed away mysteriously.

“But God knows the every thing! My mother died when I was just 9 years old, and since then my father took me so special. However, before my father gave up to the ghost on the 30th June 2004 in a private hospital, he secretly wave to me to his bedside and whispered in my ear that he deposited the sum of (USD $4,000,000) in a trust Security Company here in Africa that he used my name as the only Son for the next of kin in depositing the funds.

“He also instructed me to look for a foreigner who will help me transfer this fund and invest it wisely abroad and to prove it all, six month after my Father’s death his brother sold all his properties including our family house.

“Dear, I am honorably seeking for your assistance to help me sign-out the funds from the Security Company and transfer this funds to your country possibly through your account or ask the Security Company to deliver the funds to your country, you will stand as the guardian to this funds while I further my education in your country. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life and I wished to invest under your care with your advice please. I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards of this, your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.

“Now permit me to ask these few questions:- No. 1. Can you honestly help me as your partner? No. 2. Can I completely trust you that you can not betray me? No. 3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your control while I come over and finalize my education?

“Please, consider this and get back to me as soon as possible Immediately I confirmed you willingness then I will send to you the contact of the Security Company so that you will contact them on my behalf.

“I am waiting to hear from you soon. Your’s Sincerely Son, Jr Peter Fuller.”

Junior tells his mother and father everyone sends e-mails like this and nobody’s mama cares. His parents speak of it to no one. Like all other parents of teens, they sit in the kitchen lamenting that the milk got drunk again last night and waiting for Junior to grow up.

 

Lucy Adams is the author of If Mama Don’t Laugh, It Ain’t Funny and other books. She lives in Thomson, Ga. E-mail Lucy at lucybgoosey@aol.com.

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Comments (1)

Summaya

Great article, you have a

Great article, you have a interesting life story hope you like dairy products