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Computer lingo makes no sense to me

Posted: February 2, 2014 - 1:10am

I know I have written several columns about computers and other modern-day horrors, but please be patient with me as I spew out more words on not understanding a thing about them.

Many friends and family members have attempted to teach me the science of technology. A good friend told me to consider the computer a filing cabinet. Sounds good. I remember when I worked with good, old filing cabinets. Everything was in alphabetical order, and there was no problem finding what you needed. I tried putting stuff in the computer, but it always landed in la-la land, never to be seen again.

Then there’s “online banking.” I’m told I should not trust regular mail, that it’s unreliable. Well, I don’t trust the computer. Who knows where my money goes when sent to outer space. Besides, I love my checks and return labels. They have puppies on them, and I trust animals more than machines.

Computer lingo is another thing I don’t get. Whoever thought up words like “mouse”, “cookies” or “screen saver”? One is something I hate, one is something I love and the other is something I have absolutely no idea what to do with. You can’t “save” a screen. You just replace it with a new one. Then we come to “wallpaper,” another thing I don’t like. Tried hanging it once. Never tried again.

The only new thing I’ve learned this year is how to successfully send my column to the newspaper. Even now, I think I’m sending two or three copies because I don’t believe it’s gone through. Surprised my editor hasn’t raised Cain.

Don’t get me started on cell phones. I’ve had one for years but only use it for incoming and outgoing calls. Just learned how to text a few months ago. Doesn’t make much sense to me. After spending 30 minutes figuring out what buttons to push, I’m thinking how much easier it would have been to call the person and get everything done in five minutes.

When the grandkids found out I knew how to text, they wanted to put me on Facebook. I don’t really know exactly how that works, but I do know it means everybody in the world will know your business.

I will be 72 years old next month. Is it really necessary for me to learn a whole new lifestyle? Just let me be with my snail mail, computer I don’t know how to use and my little flip phone. By the way, I found out that my phone was “way out of date.” Guess what. I DON’T CARE!

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